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Showing posts from April, 2012

Sleepless: teenage scribbles

The nightflowers are dead
and anyone who thinks they know doesn't.
Another slow awakening of this town finds me chin in palm on the windowsill. It is quiet, and the air smells of the fresh promise that yawns in pink and pastel, softening the jagged edges of the unhappy mountains, but I am hopelessly thinking of you still. I can see your face there in the distant stray cloud, you mean nothing to me! but it lingers in my mind like the smoke lingering above my head refusing to dissolve, refusing to believe its short-liveness, now scorching its way through down to my chest.
We have nothing in common but our fear for what might come.
I pass the cigarette on to the next dyad of fingers and pick up the pencil, I scribble you down then your name in the air - I see no hope as I am scattered in the atmosphere. Sometimes I hate you for it but today I am serene, with only myself to blame for my feelings, my tears, my silent vaporisation.
I leave me here melting down to the sill.

The stars they come down

I am not afraid of love. I recently found it is the answer to my existential problems and fears. You might say this is a long-known fact. Yes, I have grown up with nothing but love but seeing as I have just started to face death as a palpable realisation, I have also just started to face love as the real and palpable solution. These past few months I have had the interesting and scary experience of being woken up at night by the fear of nothingness. And I have tried to lull myself back to sleep with promises of success, accomplishment, riches and fame but nothing seemed to work better than the promise of love. We all fear it so much and some of us always have this image of growing old alone and lonely but we all know that the most important thing in our lives is this, even though it is washed out of our brains and our reality daily by all of society’s “more pressing" matters.
I can’t remember where I read this (probably in Odysseus Elytis’s poetry) but somewhere it was written t…