Fish and piano chords

I am in love with you
because you are sane.

Not in the conventional and boring sort of way,
the way of serious young men
who are walking along the straight line that will take them to their forgetful death
comfortably but surely.

I'm talking about the sanity
that springs from years of self-reflection
and the ultimate conviction to be happy.

The kind of sanity that brings down mountains
but uprises volcanoes.

The one that lets you use words
that connect your planets to mine,
and makes you interesting and easy going
and effortlessly loveable and cool.

Ah - you are not afraid of life
nor people,
nor the strings that tie them together.
Believe me, you are a breath of fresh air in this stale country I find myself in.
I wish to love you with all my heart.


With your happiness and mine,
we could make a world of oranges and lemons
of shallow blue seas
and quiet miracles.

We could reinstate the magic of nightime explorations
through gardens
with mushrooms and tree-frogs
and nightflower-dreaming cacti.

I have played your form in my mind a million times
and moulded and re-moulded you into a million different shapes
but your essence remains the same,
like a lavender drop on a sleepless pillow
or an amber-encased butterfly.

I wish so much for you to be not only true but real,
and many a drunken night I have tried to breathe life unto this idea of you
like I breathe life unto my thoughts and turn them into poems.


But the street cats just look sideways at me disdainfully
and the streets just tie themselves into knots
so that I'm lost into the night.

And I slip and dip my ballerinas into dirty puddles
reminding me that I'm still too big for my pretty shoes
and too big for this place I find myself in.


Still, when I am down and crying,
the trees lean over and they whisper:

There's love for you still.

And the muddy stones look up and cry:

There's love for you!

And the bats swoop by clicking:

There's love, there's love.


And then I bury my tired head into my palms
and let my brain explode into laughter.

Tears streaming, I wish to love you with all my heart.


  1. 1. I must once again commend your talent as a poet and as a person. I think that rare "aah!" each and every time i read something of yours.

    2. as for the content. As I have understood it, you need to BECOME this person. somehow we are in love with this ideal, which is the potential we can realise in our selves. then after that it will be easier to relate to a man in this way and to materialize this beauty with your relationship. Do it! become awesome.

    I have a lot of thoughts to tell you about this, all of them religious :)
    But I will wait, and look forward, to when we can spend some time together in person.

  2. My lovely Thalioush,

    our themes seem to run in parallel. I am too looking forward to talking to you about your thoughts. The only way I can approach religion is through the concept and the study of love - I think we might therefore find we have more in common than we previously thought :)

    Come over to my new house for coffee. Ironically, my neighbour is a violin player.

  3. .really really really great, Backbeatlili.
    a celebration of life.


Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Losing my mother, finding my Mother

Isle of Rum

Possibility Part 1 (written Fall, 2017)