Some of us are born into exile. In the beginning, life is this fascinating kaleidoscope of colors, sounds and tastes, and at the same time an unbearable and terrifying assault on our senses. We feel too much, think too much, sense too much, perceive too much. As babies we sleep a lot. They say we are good babies, easy babies. We really just need healing time for the growing brain.
We live out a push-pull relationship with life. On one hand: an attraction to love, a deep longing for connection with Life, an innate curiosity to understand its different parts. An intense desire to belong. On the other hand: threatening energies, incessant soul-wounding, inexplicable fear. A progressive loss of innocence with every foray into the outer world. The inner world is a dark tangled forest we run to, equally scary, equally mysterious but subtler, quieter, seemingly safer.
We watch the adults around us with no concept of the past, no way of understanding they are the product of their own lives…
While I was up late at night writing my last post, only a few blocks down our house something terrible was taking place. A man standing outside a convenience store was shot to death by a member of the police force. Someone caught it on video, and today it was on the national news. The two police men involved were put on administrative leave today, and the case has been handed over to the Justice Department who are carrying out an investigation.
Scrolling down my Facebook newsfeed this morning, I felt an immense wave of desperation washing over me. The suicide bombings of the past few days, the continuing war in the Middle East, the refugees, the state of the environment, BREXIT, the U.S. elections...and a whole lot of hatred and division everywhere in the comments sections, media outlets and particularly palpable today in our town of Baton Rouge. Has the world gone mad, or was it always this crazy?
All I know is what I saw on the video and what is being reported by the media. I do …
We are talking about inner freedom.
The ability to see things as they are.
To not hold on to things that
are bound to perish, and fall away
(good things, bad things)
but to be spacious enough to
accept and contain this -
Suffering can be turned to compassion
tightness can become mystery
and I, no more a living being merely
but a space where anguish, fear, grief and anger can be
related to as what they are:
waves in the ocean of body.
What brings you joy?
To trust life, to delve into mystery
knowing that life works itself out.
That's why traveling has always been exciting:
a most direct exercise in creation mechanics.
But what of the one who wishes to grow roots? To find
a community, allow the material aspect of reality to grind
(house, kids, family)
It is the same
principle, only the stakes are higher:
more attachment, more loss, greater sorrow.
The family yogi, the bourgeois yogi,
they have been criticised for staying safe,
wrapped up in th…